Microsoft Contraceptives?

Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating


every aspect of American life with the introduction of


Contraceptive 98, a suite of applications designed for users who


engage in sex.





Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and


plug and play. It believes these technologies will give it


substantial leverage in penetrating the copulation enhancement


market.





The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for


virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the


non-propagation of human beings.





The Contraceptive98 suite consists of three products: Condom 98,


DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 (from Norton


Utilities).





A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the


package. The suite also comes in two expanded versions.


Contraceptive 98 Professional is the Client/Server edition, for


professionals in the sexual services sector. Contraceptive98


Small Business Edition is a package for start-ups, aimed at the


housewife and gigolo niches.





While Contraceptive 98 does not address non-traditional


copulatory channels, future plug-ins are planned for next year.


They will be known as BackDoor, AuraLee, TitElation, and JerkOff.





OPERATION





Only one node in a peer-to-peer connection needs to install the


package. At installation, the Condom98 software checks for


minimum hardware. If the user meets the requirements, the product


installs and is sufficiently scaleable to meet most requirements.


After installation, operation commences. One caution is that the


user must have sufficient RAM to complete the session. When the


session is complete, a disconnect is initiated, and the user gets


the message, "It is now safe to turn off your partner."





DRAWBACKS





Usability testers report that frequent failures were a major


concern during beta testing. General Protection Fault was the


most serious error encountered. Early versions had numerous bugs,


but most of these have been eliminated. The product needs to be


installed each time its used.





CONCLUSION





Contraceptive 98 is a robust product. Despite its drawbacks, it


is a reasonably good value for its $49.95 price tag, and is far


superior to its shareware version. Hopefully, future releases (of


the software, that is) will add missing functionality, such as


Backout and Restore, Uninterruptible Power Supply, and Onboard


Camera.





Microsoft CEO Bill Gates is optimistic about Contraceptive 98s


potential. He recently said, "Our contraceptive products will


help users do to each other what we've been doing to our


customers for years."

Microsoft Contraceptives?
lol im back again just got suspended
Reply:thank you Report It

Reply:hahahahaha
Reply:Nice one!
Reply:Ha ha good one. Just reading it is a contraceptive in itself!!








:-)))
Reply:cool 1
Reply:Statutory Warning


Wait for the Microsoft Contraceptic XXXP
Reply:Hmmmm............ I'm waiting to see what Apple brings on as competition to this!!! ^_^





Good One!!!
Reply:Ha Ha! Funny! 10!
Reply:ha ha ha funny
Reply:screwing comes to mind
Reply:updated to the CORE!!!


a star for ur effort and performance!!
Reply:That is funny!!!!!!!
Reply:Hahahah most apt.
Reply:good
Reply:If you need help in engaging in sex, and the use of contraceptives as an adult then your in trouble. What happened to sex ed in schools. That's where we got taught how to use a condom, and about safe sex.
Reply:Now this is good.......lmao


Star for you
Reply:Hahahhahahahaaaa, what else could i say, lmfao.